Video Games stole my kid! How do I get him back?

I have 3 sons ages 2, 5, and 7 and another one due in April. Their father and I are divorced and we have joint custody. For his birthday, my 7 year old got a Spongebob video game. Since then, every time I come to pick them up, the 2 and 5 year old are excited to go with me, but the 7 year old never wants to come because he wants to stay and play his sponge bob video game at his father's house.



I got him a Simpsons game to play here, so now he doesn't complain so much. It makes me feel bad that it came to that though. I really don't like video games and i think there are much better things he could do with his time. But I got him one anyway just so he didn't complain so much about coming to my house.



So this morning he spent almost 2 hours playing his game and then I told him to turn it off and go outside and play. After lunch he played his game a little while longer then I made him go outside again. I took them back to their Dad's this evening and he told his dad that I locked him outside all day! A complete lie of course. The doors are never locked here, we live in the country. He and his brother weren't even outside all day and when they were they were running in and out every few minutes using the bathroom, getting drinks, snacks, complaining about each other, lunch, dinner, etc. It makes me feel horrible that he would say that. I feel like video games have stolen my son! What can I do?Video Games stole my kid! How do I get him back?
First explain to the father that you did not do that and you wanted him to play outside instead of sitting around all day so he could get some exercise. Also you might to have a discussion with him about limiting his game playing at his dad's house. Ask if maybe he can allow the boy to only play video games for 2 hours a day, after he's done all his chores and homework. He needs to understand that playing with toys and games are a privilege, not a right. If the dad refuses, then you can't really do anything except to enforce the rules at your house. You have to be strict, you can't be your child's friend. You have to be their authority figure in all circumstances if you want them to grow up to be useful members of society.
Video games aren't the problem (the sole problem anyway). You've got a manipulative liar on your hands and you need to act now. How long ago did you divorce, what methods of discipline do you use and are they consistent and how does your ex handle things?Video Games stole my kid! How do I get him back?
God some people get so stupid about video games.



Some of mine and my husbands fondest childhood memories are of playing video games, espically when our parents played with us. Try pulling the stick out of your *** and join in the fun with your son.Video Games stole my kid! How do I get him back?
Well for me Id stop competing for the best friend award with the father and be the mother I wanted to be, and let the dad be the father he wanted to be. The video game thing will solve itself from there.
Explain to him that video games can be fun but they aren't meant to be played all of the time. Only force him to stop as a last resort. Try to suggest that he do something else.
Video games are not a problem. It's you. In theorem of children's behaviors, they get it from the parent. Stop blatantly lying in front of your kids!
Set boundaries. When he is at your house, he may play the game for x-amount of hours per day (may I recommend an hour or less, and maybe not every single day?) and make this contingent on behavior. If he constantly hassles you about it? Then he gets no gameplay time.



Let him know that it's fine (even if it isn't) that he plays more at his dad's house and you're glad that he looks forward to that, but that this is not the way things are in your house.



If he decides to lie to his dad about you treating him poorly? Fine. But that will further limit his time to play games at your house. It's his choice then. I see nothing wrong with the dad at least being aware that the rules are different at your house, even if it is something you don't see eye-to-eye on.



Sometimes these tactics work with my girls. We do zero video games, and strictly limit tv/videos. My eldest went through a phase where she would insist on watching TV, but I countered with, "The more you insist, the less you get. If you're that addicted, maybe you've just had too much." It took awhile, but it eventually sunk in and she's mostly dropped it. I would expect your son to test the boundaries at first also, particularly since he's older and it seems the older mine get the more they like to test the rules. But I certainly empathize.



As for him preferring the dad over you? My best friend ha been running in circles on this issue with her ex-husband and their child for 15 years. It seems no matter what you do, they are going to prefer one parent to the other at any given time -- and often will demonize the other. Often the permissive parent gets more time on the pedestal than the one who is genuinely looking out for their child's best interest. It's not fair, but having two permissive parents trying to outdo one another could have catastrophic results in the long-run. You'll be doing your son more favors to set boundaries, even if it is an uphill battle -- and to some extent, it probably will be so long as he is a child.
welcome to the year 2011. he is 7 and doesn't have an opinion. u r his mother and u can lay down the law. keep playing to a few hours and if he doesn't like it to bad to sad. if he pushes it take away altogether ur the boss not a 7 year old.i feel like a fool if i couldn't control a child. i don't care what they think i am the adult and i know better then they do...
Alright, 2 hours is nothing. I'm 13 and I play ALL day. Trust me it doesn't affect me. But for their age, they should enjoy life as a kid, like when I was a kid I played with action figures, and soccer balls. Electronics then took to the next level. Swiftly grabbing children's attention. So some systems, like the Xbox 360 has a parental control, set the rating you want, set the timer. etc etc. this can be done under settings. Then when it turns off tell your child to play with his toys or go outside. (Under parental supervision). Now if games are still what they want. Then games they will get. Get PS3 Move with the PS3 system. Or get Kinect* (only works with xbox 360) or get a Wii* probably the cheapest of them all. These 3 systems help your child exercise and have fun. Kinect is the coolest but more expensive, you are basically the controller. There's a game on Kinect called Kinectimals. There are animals, and you can pet them using your hand. No controller! Wii has sports and stuff that come with it, so your boy can be playing baseball or tennis or something. And it has a fitness and training section in Wii Sports. PS3 Move is basically the Wii but more expensive. Good luck.